Why my MINI sucks

It’s an ’02. We bought it two weeks after it was released. That was stupid, but we needed a car and couldn’t wait until June for the limited edition GTI to come out. To explain why my car sucks, you’ll have to visit my flickr page to see the notes on the photo.


I hate this car. I mean, I like driving it, “in theory”. In reality, the car is a POS and Assael MINI dealership has been nothing but shitty in addressing and “fixing” the problems. Everything up there that’s been replaced was replaced while the car was under warranty. Except for the electrical. That they said that they “couldn’t find the problem” even though, when we’d drive away, it would be there. I’m talking, the gas gauge reads wrong, the mpg reading has said 3.7 for 4 years, the lights in and around the car will just come on when they want and sometimes stay on for days. The radio will just change stations or turn off when it wants to, especially if the heater or A/C is running.

And today, we just replaced our 4th battery.

As I mentioned earlier today, the car wouldn’t start. What was frustrating was that the car unlocked fine and the radio and lights would come on, but there was no power. We took the battery to AutoZone and of course, they said it wouldn’t take a charge and we had to buy another. Now, this is the 4th battery we’ve had in this car. Our last battery install was in March ’06. The one before that was in Nov. ’04. Just to give you an idea of how incredibly shitty the BMW-made MINI batteries are.

What makes it all so incredibly frustrating was posting to MINI forums where we all had the same problems and hearing people talking about how great their dealerships were in fixing the problems and we were stuck is the idiotstick fucks at Assael, not working on our car. I had nothing but problems with Assael MINI. Okay, here’s how shitty Assael is: I took my car in last year for whatever the issue of the day was. I had wanted them to fix the electrical and was willing to pay for it. The moron (his name was Chris) I got to deal with that day, kept telling me my car wasn’t under warranty, which I knew. Then I said, “Look, I’ve been trying to get this stuff fixed since Nov. ’02.” He said, “No, you brought this in in Jan. ’05. The problem was due to flooding.” I’m like, “No way man, that problem was around way before the flooding.” He wouldn’t budge because his damn computer only kept files for a year and that’s all he had. I’m sitting there with ALL the paperwork, receipts and such from before and he wouldn’t look at them. The manager, Jerry, knew that I had been in there with the same issue before and wouldn’t even speak to me about it, pretending that he couldn’t get the files.

I spent way too much time at Assael. Let’s put it another way: These people knew me before I had kids AND watched them grow up. When the customer service rep can talk to your child about how he remembers when was a baby, something’s fucking wrong! Between Nov. ’02 and April ’04, I spent 10 of those months in rental cars. Rental cars, that I had to pay for because the BMW loaner car program is only extended to BMW owners. MINI owners get the shaft in customer service. Unless you happen to buy from a dealership that likes their customers like Long Beach MINI. Apparently, they treat you like royalty down there. LOL!.

I wrote letters and all that good stuff, but neither MINI USA or BMW cared to try to fix the situation. Live and learn, right? I’m never going to buy another MINI, no matter how incredibly cute the ’08 look. No matter that they have useful cup holders and visors that actually block something. Nope. Not gonna do it. Unless I can get one from Long Beach MINI.


2 thoughts on “Why my MINI sucks

  1. Aren’t MINIs built in Britain? British cars always have electrical problems. Hell, Suzuki motorcycles used to be as bad, but they fixed the problems somewhere down the line (my new 400SM is sha-weet). But Brits, for some reason, can’t do electrics right.

    I’ll stick with my ’95 Civic. The electrics work, except for the stereo (which crapped out a few weeks ago) and I’ll get the A/C fixed this spring. 🙂


  2. I think they’re put together in Britian. Pieces are also built in Brazila and Venezuela. But yeah, I think that whoever designed this car and everyone working on it was stone cold drunk and high at the time.


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