The words that strike terror into my heart

“Hey, watch this Alton!”

It inevitably leads to a large thud, screams and cries. Occasionally, it ends with, “Ma-MAAAAAAAAAAAA, Alton’s pulling my haaaaaaaaaaai-YER!!!!” SHRIEK and in comes Alton physically dragging the girl by her fucking hair.

Someone please tell me it gets better.


3 thoughts on “The words that strike terror into my heart

  1. Yes it gets better. It still happens but less often. Then one day you hear your daughter say,”Let me help you with that.”

    I nearly die of shock. Of course fifteen minutes later their locked in a wrestling move that neither is willing to let go of. I generally tell them to come let me know when they figure out which one is smarter!

    Okay-it may not get better but I get better at letting them figure it out.


  2. Did I ever tell you about the tie my brother (a year younger than me) slammed my head into a wall?
    Yeah, sure, it gets better.
    No, it does really get better.


  3. Better? I think the word is “different.”

    The “Hey Alton, watch this!” becomes “ALTON!! I’M TRYING TO PEE IN HERE!!!!” or “MOM! Alton’s been using MY BRUSH again!!!”

    Just remember: In 14 or 15 years, she’ll be off to college and things will get quiet.


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